Saturday, 11 October 2014
The alphabet is not in alphabetical order...
Aich are ay bee dee doubleyou ee ef el em en ess ex eye jay jee kay kew oh pee see tee vee why you zed.
Monday, 6 October 2014
The heterophony of "ough" (or, I now pronounce you husband and wough?)
I sought to slough off my slough in Slough. Had I thought through houghs and lough troughs thoroughly enough though? A drought of homophony and a homographical hiccough ought with forethought be wrought as though nought...
Let us rest our eyes for a moment, as we prepare ourselves to consider the phenomenal flexibility of this terrific tetragram, impalpably illustrated by the pleasant progression from tough to thorough. Simply adding one letter each time, we reach a new word, invariably differing significantly in pronunciation from the rest of the sequence. Indeed, there is a multiplicity of routes, via either trough or though to through, with the tempting alternative destination of thought in case we're feeling adventurous.
A noteworthy pronunciatory peculiarity is to be found in the three parishes of Milton Keynes: Woughton, Loughton, and Broughton; all have different pronunciations of the combination ('Wufton', 'Lowton' (as in 'ow' not 'low'), and 'Brorton'). Sticking with the place-name theme, the two "ough"s in Loughborough are daring enough to be pronounced differently, in a logographical version of 'You say potato, I say poughtatough (see note (1)).'
Moments of such heterophonic happiness as these are prone to prompt profusions of plauditory poetry, and so it's only right that the following should follow:
I'm taught p-l-o-u-g-h
S'all be pronouncé "plow."
"Zat's easy w'en you know," I say,
"Mon Anglais, I'll get through!"
My teacher say zat in zat case,
O-u-g-h is "oo."
And zen I laugh and say to him,
"Zees Anglais make me cough."
He say "Not 'coo' but in zat word,
O-u-g-h is 'off,'"
"Oh, Sacre bleu! Such varied sounds
Of words make me hiccough!" (see (2))
Wherefrom, wherefore, and wherethrough? Quite.
(1) Yes I know it's meant to be tomato, but potato works better!
(2) O-U-G-H: A Fresh Hack at an Old Knot by Charles Battell Loomis
Let us rest our eyes for a moment, as we prepare ourselves to consider the phenomenal flexibility of this terrific tetragram, impalpably illustrated by the pleasant progression from tough to thorough. Simply adding one letter each time, we reach a new word, invariably differing significantly in pronunciation from the rest of the sequence. Indeed, there is a multiplicity of routes, via either trough or though to through, with the tempting alternative destination of thought in case we're feeling adventurous.
A noteworthy pronunciatory peculiarity is to be found in the three parishes of Milton Keynes: Woughton, Loughton, and Broughton; all have different pronunciations of the combination ('Wufton', 'Lowton' (as in 'ow' not 'low'), and 'Brorton'). Sticking with the place-name theme, the two "ough"s in Loughborough are daring enough to be pronounced differently, in a logographical version of 'You say potato, I say poughtatough (see note (1)).'
Moments of such heterophonic happiness as these are prone to prompt profusions of plauditory poetry, and so it's only right that the following should follow:
I'm taught p-l-o-u-g-h
S'all be pronouncé "plow."
"Zat's easy w'en you know," I say,
"Mon Anglais, I'll get through!"
My teacher say zat in zat case,
O-u-g-h is "oo."
And zen I laugh and say to him,
"Zees Anglais make me cough."
He say "Not 'coo' but in zat word,
O-u-g-h is 'off,'"
"Oh, Sacre bleu! Such varied sounds
Of words make me hiccough!" (see (2))
Wherefrom, wherefore, and wherethrough? Quite.
(1) Yes I know it's meant to be tomato, but potato works better!
(2) O-U-G-H: A Fresh Hack at an Old Knot by Charles Battell Loomis
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